Thursday Tools and the Forty-Mile Frontier

Hello, friends. I am sitting here at the kitchen table with a cup of peppermint tea, watching the sky turn that bruised purple-gray color it gets just before the sun slips away. It is 5:45pm, and I can hear Mark out in the driveway, the heavy thud of his truck door signaling he is finally home from the site. I have just a few minutes to share my heart with you all before the evening rush of dinner and velociraptor pajamas truly begins.

Today was one of my days at Miller's Hardware, and the shop was particularly busy for a Thursday. Mr. Miller had me filing invoices for a large lumber order most of the morning. Between the smell of fresh sawdust and the constant chime of the bell above the door, my head was spinning a bit by 3:00. It is funny how a quiet morning of bookkeeping can actually be more draining than a long run, but there is a specific kind of satisfaction in seeing those spreadsheets balance out perfectly. It makes me feel like I am finally getting a handle on our family finances, one small victory at a time.

After I clocked out, I stopped by Sweet Magnolia to see Megan. The bakery was warm and smelled like cinnamon rolls, a sharp contrast to the crisp air outside. She gave me a quick hug and a 'broken' cookie that didn't make the display case—perks of being the best friend, I suppose. We only talked for a minute about our pickleball match this coming Saturday, but that brief connection was exactly what I needed to shift my brain from work mode to 'Lucy' mode.

I headed straight to the Cedar Falls trails afterward. Ladies, I have to tell you, my legs felt like lead for the first ten minutes. I kept thinking about the 5K in October and wondering if I was pushing myself too hard. But then I hit my stride, and something just clicked. I watched my shadow stretch out long in front of me, and for the first time in a long time, I felt truly strong. Not just 'mom strong' from carrying a squirming four-year-old, but athlete strong.

I checked my tracker when I slowed to a walk near Sycamore Street. I hit the forty-mile total today. Forty miles since I started this journey. Looking at that number made me realize that I am not just the woman who pours candles or the woman who balances Mr. Miller's books. I am a woman who sets a goal and actually shows up for herself. My self-worth used to be so tied to how well I served everyone else, but these miles are just for me.

As I turned onto our block, I saw Joanne out in her garden. Even though it's getting chilly, she was out there in that signature pink bathrobe, fussing over her petunias like they were her children. She waved a gloved hand at me and shouted, 'Looking fast, Lucy!' It made me giggle, but it also made me stand a little taller. Sometimes we need a retired teacher in a bathrobe to remind us that we are making progress.

When I got inside, the house was quiet for a rare moment. Emma was at the kitchen counter, her tongue poked out in concentration as she drew elaborate manes on the horses in her math workbook. I didn't even scold her for the lack of long division; the joy in her eyes was worth more than a perfect score today. Noah was sprawled on the rug, his toy T-Rex staging a prehistoric coup against a pile of blocks. It is these mundane, messy moments that remind me why I am working so hard to stay healthy and vibrant.

I took a quick shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed from the run, and I noticed the way my shoulders look a bit more defined. I want to feel desirable for Mark, of course, but more than that, I want to feel desirable for myself. I want to look in the glass and see a woman who is growing, changing, and refusing to settle into a rut just because she hit her thirties.

Speaking of Mark, he just walked through the door. He looks exhausted, his work boots covered in the dust of the new construction site, but he gave me that specific smile—the one that still makes me feel like the girl he married nine years ago. We are planning a quiet night once the kids are down. I might even pull out some of my new 'Lucy's Little Light' samples to see which scent he prefers for the autumn launch.

The 5K is getting so close now. Forty miles in the books, and I feel like I am finally finding my rhythm. It isn't always easy to carve out this time, and some days the candle orders pile up or the kids need extra attention, but today was a reminder that I am worth the effort. We are all worth the effort, ladies. Don't let the busy-ness of life drown out the sound of your own heart beating.

I need to go help Mark with the groceries now. Tomorrow is a candle-pouring day, and I have a fresh batch of soy wax waiting for me. I am so grateful for this little blue house and the people inside it, and I am grateful for you all for walking this path with me. I hope you found a small victory in your day, too.

I love you. — Lucy